Since shelter-in-place guidelines were put in place in mid-March to stop the spread of COVID-19, sex toy sales have skyrocketed. Many folks in quarantine have been exploring new realms of pleasure to, well, experience pleasure (no reason needed for that) and also to pass the time at home. For some vulva-owners, that’s meant exploring all of their pleasure zones, including that elusive cervical orgasm. But, what is a cervical orgasm, exactly? The short answer is that may just be your new favorite pleasure destination.
The longer answer is that a cervical orgasm is pretty much exactly what it sounds like: an orgasm that results from stimulating the cervix, which is the ring of tissue separating the uterus from the vagina. There’s a popular notion that cervical orgasms are hyper-euphoric, head-spinning, unicorn-status orgasms in a mythical class of their own. But Jess O’Reilly, PhD, resident sexologist at Astroglide and host of the @SexWithDrJess podcast, suggests this may not necessarily be the case. Instead, she says, putting pressure on the cervix via deep penetration may just be a fresh way to achieve a blended orgasm.
Putting pressure on the cervix via deep penetration may be a fresh way to achieve a blended orgasm, according to Jess O’Reilly, PhD, resident sexologist.
“Though different nerves are believed to communicate with the brain depending on which area is stimulated, it can be difficult to isolate one region exclusively during sex,” says Dr. O’Reilly. “For example, if you’re massaging the cervix, it’s likely you’re also stimulating the vaginal canal and you may also be putting pressure on the G-spot.”
Even so, adding cervical play into your sexual repertoire can help you get to know your body better. Below, Dr. O’Reilly and certified sexologist Alicia Sinclair share a few tips for getting started.
Wondering what a cervical orgasm is and how to have one for yourself? Read on to find out.
1. Get fully aroused before you attempt to find out what a cervical orgasm is
No matter what type of orgasm you have, it’s always a marathon, not a race. To that end, any sexual experience you have will be exponentially better when you’re turned on, so give yourself the time for external stimulation and whatever other forms of pre-orgasm activity you enjoy.
For cervical play especially, this is an important first step, because unless a person is ready, the act can actually hurt. “The sensitive cervix is believed to relay messages to the brain via the hypogastric nerve, and many people report that direct stimulation is only pleasurable once they’ve reached higher levels of arousal and the palliative chemicals have flooded the body,” says Dr. O’Reilly.
2. Try it on your own before you bring a partner into the mix
Even if you trust your partner with your life (and your vulva), Dr. O’Reilly says it’s best to determine your own limits solo. When you have total control over the variables, you can get a better sense of what actually feels good to your body.
“Once you feel you’ve reached full arousal, try tapping or gently pulsing deep into the vaginal canal to stimulate the cervix.” —certified sexologist Alicia Sinclair
So, where to start? “Once you feel you’ve reached full arousal, try tapping or gently pulsing deep into the vaginal canal to stimulate the cervix,” says Sinclair, creator of the Le Wand Massager. Dr. O’Reilly recommends using a dildo to experiment with depth and pressure. Once you’re in deep, continue slowly an experiment with light stimulation to see how it feels.
3. Use a long, strong, sex toy
Cervical stimulation generally requires deep—like the deepest—penetration. So yes, you may need a larger (or at least longer) sex toy than what you typically opt for. Sinclair recommends using a long, straight dildo, preferably in a softer-density silicone (at least to start), while Dr. O’Reilly suggests a slightly C-shaped option, like the We-Vibe Rave ($119). Though the Rave is intended for the G-spot, “its asymmetrical shape and ergonomic design can also be used to apply vibrations and pressure to the cervix through the vaginal canal,” Dr. O’Reilly says.
4. During partnered intercourse, try being on top
Being on top allows for deeper penetration while allowing you to control the depth, speed, angle, and rhythm of cervical contact, says Dr. O’Reilly, who reminds that before putting any pressure on your cervix, it’s best to make sure you’re already aroused.
Not into this position? A sex pillow can also help increase depth of penetration.
5. Experiment with cervical stimulation at different points in your menstrual cycle
If you’re enjoying the quest for cervical bliss, but you still don’t think you’re really hitting it, consider trying again at a later date. Your cervix changes along with your hormones each month. During ovulation, it’s higher, softer, and wetter than it is at other points in your menstrual cycle. “As the position of your cervix fluctuates, you might find that a specific time of the month is more conducive to cervical-based pleasure, and some points in your cycle can feel uncomfortable,” says Dr. O’Reilly.
And ultimately, you might just find out that riding towards a cervical orgasm just…isn’t your thing. “Don’t be upset if this type of stimulation doesn’t get you off,” Sinclair says. “Vulva-owners are incredible lucky in the sense that we have a wide variety of pleasure zones. While a cervical orgasm might work for one person, it’s totally fine if clitoral orgasms are your jam.”
Everyone’s different in this respect, so the trick is to keep checking back and getting to know what makes you tick—and if a mythic unicorn orgasm is the reward, all the better.